30 days...

So NHBPM draws to a close. My recap for the month - this was harder than expected. I found myself feeling like a broken record but its helped to solidify many of my thoughts and convictions about my thyroid, my PCOS, my weight and my overall health.

It also got me thinking about why I started blogging in the first place. Tomorrow I refocus on my initial plan - simplification.

Finances. Nutrition. Exercise. Social life. All the things I've been working on and not talking about as much.

I also want to get in to talking about the great books I've been reading. I want to try to be more interactive. I want to bring in guest posters to talk about their journey in simplification of their lives.

I want to be about whole body, mind and soul health and simplicity.

Time to refocus and get ready for 2014 before it gets here and flies by without a change.

2013 and beyond... and Ow! My jaw!

If I could accomplish anything in 2013 it would be ...

Man, talk about a loaded prompt. My goals and aspirations are many but if I had to pick one thing I want to accomplish in 2013 it would be getting under 200 pounds.

Yes, it's an arbitrary number but losing 70+ pounds in a year would be huge for me. I lose weight so slowly and to average 6 pounds a month would be an incredible success for me both mentally and physically. About 1.5 pounds a week. It's not a lot to ask. 

I'm trying so hard to get out of my own way, to stop psyching myself out and to own my own power and successes but I swear every time I get close to a goal - whether weight, work, financial or personal - I screw it up and set myself back. 

I would love to see 2013 be the year I stop fearing success and just enjoy the fruits of my labor. 

That said, lets talk about my doctor appoinment from yesterday.

I caught a sinus infection the Saturday after my birthday, then got worse the day after Veterans Day. Tuesday made one month of my ears hurting. I finally went to see the ENT.

The problem is not my ears this time. No redness, no fluid, nothing wrong.  My ears are dry - apparently I don't create enough ear wax and I have TMD/TMJ.

FREAKING LOCKJAW! 

Ok, so it's not a horrible thing and it makes sense now but the only thing I can do for the TMD to get better is go on a solid food diet for the next two weeks. 

Soft foods. Christ. I was just getting used to my current lower carb, no sweets diet. Now I have to stop eating things like steak and anything harder than a soft roll. 

Wahhhhh. 

Some of my Facebook friends gave me good suggestions about healthier soft food options and I'm going to have to do a lot of cooking this weekend. I still need help, though! 

What are some of your favorite soft food recipes? Hints and tips for not getting bored with the same consistency for the next 2 weeks? 

Tomorrow - a recap of the nutritional conversation with my ENT and why I now am self conscious about my ears...

This aggression will not stand...

A. I gained 3.8 pounds over Thanksgiving.  This is unacceptable and also shocking as I really didn't eat that poorly.  Super back on plan today 100 oz of water, under WW points and I'm going to b using GoMeals today to see my carb/protein/fat split.  I may take the time to go back and input the last week of data to see if maybe my fat or carbs were just seriously out of whack.  We shall see.

B. That's more or less how I deal with today's NHBPM prompt - how do I deal with bullies/trolls/snake oil salesman.  I have lost all tolerance for people who talk down to people based on stereotypes and preconceived notions. I may deal with it in real life a little less aggressively than I do on the internet but I always make it known that I have heard, seen or otherwise know that someone is being a jerk and that they need to quit their crap.

In real life I've gotten very good at giving someone an evil eye or just staring at them with a "go ahead, say something" glare when I hear the tell tale snickers or see the finger pointing.  Which, by the way, is something I don't get.  What happened to manners?  Anyway.  When I actually hear the comments I have gotten very good about straight up saying "Look, I've lost an entire YOU in my weight loss journey while fighting against my body every step of the way.  Your snickering and pointing and laughing are dually noted and only serve to prove what a jerk you are.  Have a lovely day." Sometimes, if the person is a real jerk that is laced with profanity, but the sentiment remains.

I'm also totally comfortable with telling people that they don't know what they're talking about.  I have no patience for anyone who thinks they can tell me they know all the answers.  People who look at me and say "You need to eat more celery because it's a negative calorie food," or "If you only drink green tea your body will readjust and you'll lose weight super fast" often get a head pat before I shake my head and walk away but, more often than not, I tell them why they are wrong and that they are morons.  

I've learned that even though I don't WANT to be direct and evil that's the only way to really deal with people and so I do it.  People want to be mean and judgemental, that's fine, I'm just not going to let them do it in front of me anymore.  

I bet you didn't know...

That there are times I don't know what to say. I bashed my head in yesterday over the prompts and nada. Oh well. Free pass two.

Things you may not know about me ...
1. I have a horrible fear of sand that I basically conquered this past year.
2. I gag if I can feel the texture of mushrooms. I hate them! Stupid textures.
3. Eggs are ditto above. It kills me because I know eggs are good for me - high protein, a staple of breakfast foods. Can't do it.
4. The reason my anxiety doesn't keep me from teaching Zumba is because its like acting to me. I do my best Loretta like acting job every single class.
5. I have the worst feet in the world. I had to have sections of my two big toenails removed because of terrible in grown nails. My toe nails break if I even remotely stub my toe and I have broken all my toes at least once.
6. I had both nipples pierced until a bench press accident scared me and I removed them. I miss them. It was awesome!
7. I suffer from Reynauds syndrome - my hands and feet to blue or white from cold even on a hot summer day!

There you go! Now you know me even better!

Evolution of goals

So, yesterday will be one of my get out of posting free cards. Not because I didn't want to post or I was too busy but because I hurt my calf, took a muscle relaxer and human sentences were not possible. Sorry, folks.

Today's prompt - how have your goals evolved/changed is an interesting one.

I think the biggest change is that my goals have become more concrete and less about numbers and more about truly measurable/visible tangible things.

I no longer want to be thin or weigh 160 pounds or less - I want to be able to shop for clothes in normal clothing stores, not have to go plus size specialty stores for everything. 

I no longer want to have a healthy BMI.  I want to be strong and fit - able to bench press 100 pounds, do full push ups, be able to do burpees with correct form, run a sub 30 5k.

The reason for the shift in my goals is the realization that, as a patient with thyroid issues and PCOS I can't hold myself to standards like BMI - they may never apply to me as healthy is going to look different on me. 

Cleaning out my closet...

Zoom in on my closet in the bedroom. Small, cramped, a white three drawer dresser in the bottom. The clothes on the hangers fall in to four categories.

1. Work appropriate pants. Black or khaki colored. 

2. Work appropriate blouses and sweaters. Jewel tones - mostly green or purple. Also, a lot of black.

3. Work appropriate or fancier dresses. Also jewel toned or black. Rarely worn.

4. A multi tiered hanger with scarves and belts. Also rarely worn.

In the drawers there are underwear in the top drawer, bras in the second and various nightgowns and shorts in the bottom drawer.

Zoom in on my larger closet in the bathroom. Full of magic hangers, 5 hangers to each.  On these hangers is a vast array of workout and hangout clothes.  

1. T-shirts from woot.com - cute animals, geeky references, cooking and food related and exercise related. 

2. Race t-shirts.

3. Zumba wear - the brighter the colors the better! I love the green!

4. Sweat pants. Big, comfy, sweats in grey, black and jewel tones

5. Workout pants. Sweat wicking materials - mostly black. I wear yoga pants a lot. 

6. Comfy pants and big shirts that are matched pajama sets. 

In the hall next to the bathroom is a four drawer dresser with a top drawer with my jewelry, very unorganized.  The second drawer has tights and trouser socks while the third has sport and cute patterned socks and the bottom has overflow shirts that I rarely wear but may use for cleaning or lounging if it the mood strikes.

So, what do my closets say about me? I compartmentalize. My work persona and my home persona are very different.  My work outfits are bland, worn in rotation and not mixed up very often.  After hours? I am in bright colors, comfy and functional. I often wear two to three pairs of clothes after work.  Usually, an actually workout outfit for teaching Zumba, followed by something to lounge around the house and sometimes, something totally different to sleep if I'm having a night where I don't want to sleep in pants. 

My Zumba outfits, in particular, have gotten more loud and proud in the last few months. I'm not scared of showing off my flabby arms, or a little bit of jiggly belly when I move.  I'm just not hiding the way I used to. 

I guess the one thing both closets say about me is that comfort is my number one priority.  I hate feeling constricted. I hate skirts and dresses because I spend the day worrying I'm going to flash someone. 

Comfortable and relaxed.  In work and at home.  

Giving Thanks

I've been participating in a month of thanks a long with many other people on twitter and facebook and I feel  the need to continue the trend here.  And not JUST because that's one of the NHBPM prompts, things need to be said.

To the health and fitness blogging community at large - Thank you for lifting me on the days when the world seems darkest.

Days like today, when the whole world is centered on food, I find myself feeling lost and scared.  Food shouldn't make anyone feel like that, but it totally does.  And there are people out here in the wilds of cyberspace that totally get it, and get me and the feel the same stress that I was feeling going in to today.

I did it though, I survived, and part of that reason was all the amazing words of support, wisdom and humor from my blogging friends over the last week.  HECK I even survived 7 days of no sweets because of the support from y'all.  Thank you!

Then I want to say a few specific thanks

To Mrs. Fatass - When I met her briefly almost 2 years ago I had no idea that she and I would become such good friends.  I feel totally honored to dance beside her, hang out with her, travel with her, and make an utter fool of ourselves together.  She's kind, open, honest, generous and an absolute hoot to have a drink or two with.  She's become part of my family over the last year... I can't imagine not having her by my side going forward! Trio Fitness happened because she believed we had the power to do it.  She's totally Trio Fitness' baby mama!

We're hot, we know it.

Then there is my Matt - Matt is my best friend, workout buddy, confidant, coworker and all around amazing guy.  Every time I have an idea, formulate a wild plan or evil scheme he's by my side saying LET'S DO THIS! He's held my hand through five 5k races, multiple Zumbathons, master classes and training weekends.  He is forever, my rock.  I don't know that I would be where I am personally or professionally without him by my side.  He's both the angel and the devil on my shoulder and I'd be lost without him. Every girl should have a best friend like Matt.  For serious.

He's so devious... and adorable!

And then there's my Sarah.  Sarah is the other part of Trio Fitness.  The less vocal of the three of us but only because she works so hard at work, school and Zumba that she doesn't have time to speak.  When I took my first Zumba class with her I had no idea that she would become one of my dearest friends.  I totally stalked her at first, I wanted to be her friend, but if I had known what I do know I would have been more aggressive so we could have bonded earlier.  We don't get to coteach as much any more as our schedules have changed and it's gotten harder to coordinate but every time we get together - whether in class or outside of it - good times are always had. She's one of my best friends and I consider her my sister.  We love each other, we get annoyed with each other but LOVE always comes first.

She's also so pretty she makes even me look good!

Today was a success in terms of food.  It could have been far, far worse.

Marshall and I went out to K&W Cafeteria with his folks for Thanksgiving brunch today.  A serving of turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas, a soft roll and a slice of apple pie started Thanksgiving off right.  I was full, but not overly so, and because I had given up sweets for the 7 days leading up to Thanksgiving the apple pie was almost too sweet from the cinnamon sugar on top of it.  

After brunch had time to settle I started working on dinner and dessert.  I had been slow roasting two turkey roasts in the crock pot since late last night with onion and gravy.  So all I had to do was make the sides to go along with it.  I made mashed sweet potatoes (made with maple syrup which was genius) and sourdough stuffing with extra celery and onions.  Marshall made roasted butternut squash.  Then I heated up some yeast rolls.  

The big cooking event of the day was making pecan pie.  From scratch.  By myself.  With no help. EEk!

I also decided I wanted to add English toffee bits to the pie.  Just because.  In a little bit I'm going to heat it up and eat it with vanilla ice cream and a chocolate covered pecan as garnish.  

Then tomorrow - back on no sweets, basically.  I will allow myself to have a latte once a week but that's it.  I'm also considering a 7 day vacation from breads again.  But not until the Thanksgiving left overs are gone.

I hope everyone out there reading this has had an amazing Thanksgiving and is as filled with love as I am today.  I may be far away from my biological family but I am very blessed to have my chosen family right next to me today.

And tomorrow - Sarah, Sue and I will be dancing together in a Turkey Burn Master Class where we rock Sentao, Toning and Zumba for 90 minutes.  I can't wait!

FundaMentals...

Write about mental health.

I could write about my anxiety or my life long fight with depression. I think, however, that I'm going to talk about the horror that is Seasonal Affective Disorder.

While SAD is most common in winter, it can hit at different times of the year for different people.  Winter centric depression is often brushed off as just being blue around the holidays but it can be so much more than that.

Personally, even though I prefer the fall and winter, my anxiety and depressive symptoms are far worse this time of year.  During the spring and summer I take brief breaks at work that I lovingly refer to as Vitamin D breaks - fall and winter?  Doesn't do me much good. 

Common treatments for SAD include light therapy, typical SSRI medications or melatonin supplements.

For me though?  This time of year is all about the Vitamin D supplements and my B complex vitamins.  It's taken years to find the right combination for me. 

I hope that anyone reading this who find this time of year to be difficult for themselves will do the research and consider some of the natural treatments before jumping in to the doctor prescribed medication route. 

I take my daily dose of Zoloft. Every day, like clockwork, but it's just not enough to combat the hell that my body goes through this time of year.  The addition of my vitamin regemin is the only thing that makes these short days tolerable. 

But it's different for everyone.  Do what works best for you and keep trying till you find the right combination!

Regret...

A health moment I regret...

Easy - when I didn't stand up and make my doctors take care of me when I was 16.  My hair fell out, I was winded brushing my hair and rather than force the issue I stopped taking my medication.  Cold turkey.

It was the start of 5 years of my life where I felt bad, not terrible, but bad every day of my life.  I caught every cold, flu, stomach bug and otherwise infection I could.  I gained weight no matter how little I ate. I worked out to no avail.

It SUCKED.

I stayed miserable until I got my first job.

And as much as I regret it, it helped me become who I am and allowed me to help others NOT make the same mistakes.

I regret it, but I'm not sad about it.

Life and Death

This prompt is a hard one for me today. Upon checking Facebook this morning, I found out a friend and fellow Zumba instructor passed away over night.

Keith was an amazing man - vibrant, full of energy, always welcoming with a hug and kind word, hilariously funny and always a joy to see and chat with.  We chatted just a week or so ago about a song I was working on choreography to for him. 

He had lost a lot of weight - 160 pounds I think. He looked amazing and was so full of energy that I'm in total shock that he's gone. Heck! Just yesterday he taught 2 hours of Zumba.  

It just goes to show that life, death, and health are so uncontrollable.

It's just not fair. 

strengths and weaknesses

Since I goofed up and did today's prompt yesterday. Today I will do yesterday's prompt.

Strengths

Driven - I see a goal and I go for it. I don't stop unless I am going to die. Seriously. I do so much stupid shit sometimes in the interest of keeping moving towards my goals. I've taught classes on broken toes, injured Achilles' tendons, colds, ear infections - basically if I'm upright, not puking, or running a fever, I'm in class. I go to work in all of the same conditions. I don't stop until I have to. 

Smart/Intellectually Curious - I know a lot of things. I have a BA in English and I nearly minored in everything. I read a lot and play games that use my reasoning and language skills. I like to learn about a million different things - health, fitness, history, sports, culture, theater, technology, medicine. I love to learn and retain information well and I am always finding new connections between things to make my life better.

Flexible - If something isn't working I have no problem flipping things around and trying something new. I am always ready to expand my horizons and do something network in a new way. 

Weaknesses

Stubborn - see: Driven above.

Overly Emotional - I cry at the drop of a hat. I will wither up and hide from the world over the smallest things. I get angry and can not be reasoned with. I am working on this but it's part f my anxiety issues. I'm medicated - it helps.

Easily Distracted - I am not ADHD but I do suffer from OH LOOK SOMETHING SHINY syndrome. This goes hand in hand with my curiosity - I am always ears up for something new to learn/use.

NON-SCALE VICTORY - today I bought an outfit at Walmart because I saw the shirt and it was cute and the nice black slacks looked nice so I grabbed them as goal pants/shirt. THEY FIT! Pictures to come when I don't look like dean warmed over from all the chores. 

Ch-ch-changes...

"I want to change THIS about healthcare..."

The focus on weight with regards to health. As a thyroid patient and a woman with PCOS I will ALWAYS have a problem with my weight.

I gain weight easily, it's hard for me to shed pounds and my weight fluctuates heavily from day to day. It's just so easy for my body to freak out and hold on to water weight, to hit a plateau, or to go against all reason and gain or lose weight when my calorie in versus calorie out equation says I should be doing the other.

You know what? My labs are freaking awesome. My blood pressure is normal, a little high when taken with an automatic cuff but even that's only slightly. My cholesterol is good. My HDL is a little low but I've made enough changes to my nutrition and started taking flaxseed and it's gone from 23 to 39 in a year. Thats genetics not bad nutrition or laziness. My glucose and A1C are perfect.  Perfect, not good, perfect.

And my cardiovascular system? Fit as a fiddle.

Quarterly I go visit a nurse for what they call Peak Health. They check my body fat, weight, blood pressure and talk to me about stress, nutrition and my overall wellness. Then they put you on a stationary bike and measure your pulse and blood pressure during moderate activity. As you reach certain benchmarks, you get higher discounts on your insurance. 

All of my labs are at level 5 levels. My readings on the bike are great, excellent fitness. But because of my weight I'm only a level 2. 

I don't expect to be a level 5 while still obese, but I would think everything I've done and the fact that all my other other health markers put me at a level 5 I should be rewarded in kind.

I get this from others places too. New doctors who think because of my weight I'm lazy and unhealthy.  

I know this is the case for other people too. Different health issues lead to varying pictures of health.

Will I ever be a size 2-4-6-8? Not likely. Aside from my health issues, I'm just good Irish breeding stock. I'm blessed with wide ribcage, shoulders and hips. I will, however keep fighting till my insides are as healthy as they can be. 

That should be the goal, not some weight related, one size fits all BMI bull hockey. Health. Inside and outside. 

Challenge Accepted.

  

This is how I feel about every meal right now.  The last month has been rough nutritionally.  Since my birthday, even my best laid plans have fallen short. My sweet tooth has been uncontrollable and I've been eating more and more "off plan" stuff. 

On top of that, I've had a nasty sinus infection and ear infection that has held on for over two weeks now. Two Saturdays ago I woke up at 1:00 in the morning with a fever of 101 and dragged myself to urgent care and promptly started a Z-pack for the infections. I wasn't feeling well on Friday at work still and wanted to go back to the doctor but work was too crazy so I didn't.  After running a 5k and 4 hours Zumba on Saturday, classes on Sunday, and shopping and more Zumba I woke up Tuesday morning with vertigo and my face felt like it was full of lead. So back to the doctor for more antibiotics and a shot of steroids.

So feeling sick, being full of steroids, and already off plan I was making really poor decisions.  I ate ice cream, chocolate covered cherries, cake and a McFlurry in the span of three days. 

I slammed on the brakes and said "Hey! This isn't right! I don't do this anymore!" And put myself on a 7 day, no sweets challenge. I've done this before and it's hard for me. One nutritionist I saw put me on a no sugar, no carb, no dairy, gluten free diet and it was hard. I think chocolate/sweets and potatoes are tied for hardest things to give up.

And they're equally as bad for my body. With PCOS and the insulin resistance it causes they both make me feel so good at the time and so bad a few hours later. It's terrible how bad the mental addiction is. 

Today is day 2 and I'm hurting. I finished dinner and am dying for just a smidge of something sweet. One square of dark chocolate is all I really want. Just one! It almost feels like the meal is incomplete without that smidge of something sweet. 

I won't give in though and I know that when I do have something sweet on Thanksgiving it will be even better since I abstained leading up to the holiday. I won't over indulge either! Apple pie or pecan pie - just one slice. That's all! 

Until then very meal is a challenge, and one I've willingly accepted. 

Game on!

My favorite blogs

Today's post ideas were either to write about why/why not health professionals should use social media or to post about someone I nominated for a Health Activist Award.  I drew a blank on the first and the second... I'm mulling over.  I want to nominate everyone for something!  So, I decided to do a wrap up of some of my favorite health/fitness blogs.  I may wind up nominating a ton of people for a ton of awards... because the fitness blogosphere is full of amazing, awesome, talented people who awe me on a daily basis.

First - the blog that introduced me to many of the other blogs I currently read.  Peanut Butter Fingers.  Did I mention that meeting Julie at Fitbloggin was like meeting Prince?  Because it totally was.  Her blog is awesome, full of healthy information, great workout ideas, and one of the most adorable dogs ever.

Next -  Gotta give love to my partner in crime, Mrs. Fatass.  Not only is her blog one of the most raw and honest blogs I've ever read, she's a laugh riot... when it's appropriate.  Also, very creative linguistics.

Then there's No Thanks to Cake. Another genuine, funny and fun blog about living the healthy life.  Even when her posts are on the sad side, I always feel uplifted by her sense of pride and purpose.  She rocks!

How about Redefining Kim.  Prepping for a figure competition, full time mom, eating disorder survivor and all around badass.  When I met her at Fitbloggin I was just drawn to her - she's just one of the nicest people I've ever met and I could, and did, talk to her forever!!  I'm glad to call her my friend and I stalk her blog like woah.

There's like 10000 more blogs I love but I am finally getting in to bed early.  This ear infection is finally clearing up and since I can hear again now even my typing hurts my poor ear drums!

Mean people suck...

  A post about dealing with negativity within the community.

Ok, easy enough... But I can't promise I will be very nice in this post. 

One if the worst aspects of the thyroid community is people who think they're being helpful and constructive when they point out your flaws or call you out for being overweight or underweight and have no understanding of what the hell is going on in your body.

And this is not just outsiders who come in trying to be helpful, but it also includes others in the community that think they have found the right answers regardless of what their specific type of thyroid issue is and will try to force their plan on everyone.

Thyroid disorder is incredibly complex and no one has all the answers and that one stop shop mentality can keep people from trying new things to try to feel healthy.

I would never tell someone with basic hypothyroidism that they need to take cytomel because it works for me it must work for everyone.  I would tell everyone to explore all of the options with their doctors but I would never push my medical plan on anyone else.

I also would never go in to a thyroid community and start telling people that because they don't do 8 hours of Zumba a week that they're fat by choice,  I see this happen all the time.  People saying if you don't do what I do you're lazy.  And that pisses me off.

A lot.

I see red when people disparage other people who are trying to make healthy decisions one step at a time.  People who do that infuriate me,  

Mean people suck even if they think they're being mean with a purpose. Be helpful or shut the hell up. kthx.

taboo.

Write about something taboo... Ok... Let's talk about sex, baby.

Specifically, lets talk about sex and overall health.

Sex is good for the skin, it releases the happy chemicals in your brain, it releases chemicals that help you bond to other people, and there are studies that say that semen may even be a slight antidepressant in some women.

Also, it just feels good and things that help us feel good are just a good thing overall. 

Sex is a good thing. It just is and I hate that people so often feel the need to whisper about it.  Especially people who have kids.  The jig is up, you've had sex.

So the other day when I was talking to a student if mine and she made a joke about her husband telling her to go to Zumba because she was grumpy and he wanted Zumba sex I got to thinking.

Zumba sex? Ok, I can see it. In Zumba we use the body in ways that could be seen as sexual. Lots of hips and booty shaking.  I love songs with a story, a chance to act like someone I'm not so I love burlesque or strip tease style routines so, yeah, I can see how sex post Zumba class, can be awesome.

Heck, sex after any type of workout that makes you feel good is generally better than average sex.  Your body is already awake, blood pumping, you're probably going to feel things more because of increased blood flow from the start.

So, I posit, people should have more post workout sex.  Sweaty, excited, stinky, awesome sex.  

Just do it. 

My BodyBugg and Me!

Another post where I expound in my love of a piece of technology?

Oh BodyBugg... What would I do without you? 

When I bought the BodyBugg I had no idea what a big part of my life it would become. 

Why is it the bees knees? 

First of all, I love having my daily stats at my finger tips on my iPhone. I just tap and can see how many calories I've burned and how many steps I've taken. It makes fitness a bit of a game.  I think to myself "How many steps have I walked by lunch? What can I do to make that number higher tomorrow." 

Secondly, the visual representation of my calorie burn makes more sense to me than just numbers. I can look at the graph and see oh I walked here, ran here, here's my Zumba class and why was I on my butt for this long stretch of time.  

Thirdly, knowing a closer approximation of my calorie burn has made a huge difference in how I eat and how much I eat.

I took 6 weeks worth of BodyBugg data to my nutritionist and she agreed with me that below 2000 calories was a bad idea.  I had been trying to stay below that due to bad advice and it made sense why I felt so bad.  She said that on my 2-3 hour of class nights I definitely need to make sure I get my carbs during the day and front load with protein afterwards to ensure that I recover correctly. It was nice to have feedback based on actual data. Not just wild guesses based on how everyone else does the best.

What I really love it mashing my output from the BodyBugg against my my fitness pal data to see what my net calories for the day are. That's a pretty cool tool. 

Oh, and other, cool thing, the arm band comes in some cute styles. I love my Zebra print arm band!

A few of my favorite things...

Today's post prompt "Write about your favorite things that is not health-related but likely improves your life" got me really thinking.

So much of my life centers around health and fitness now I really struggled to think of things in my life that aren't health related.  I'm such a connoisseur of health and fitness right now, that this was really difficult.  Here's what I came up with.

My iPad -  I named her Gizmo.  She goes everywhere with me.  She does help out with my health and fitness goals but she also does the following.

1. Functions as my collection point for all my calendars and schedules.  I am super forgetful and over commit myself and the awesome calendar app I found has helped me out significantly by giving me a graphic vision of my day at work and at home.
2. Keeps all of my financial data in one location and it's not as easy to fat finger numbers on the iPad as it is on the iPhone.  I use two different applications Mint.com and HomeBudget.  Mint.com is new to my phone but I like some of the financial advice and information it provides.  HomeBudget is on both my iPhone and iPad and it's so much easier than keeping a physical checkbook, I lose those!!
3.  Podcasts - I wouldn't get through my crazy workdays without the amusement of podcasts and videos on my iPad.  Sometimes I work best with music and other times I need mindless chatter going on in my ears to keep me on track.  I am in love with the How Stuff Works family of podcasts.  They're amazingly informative and often hilarious!
4. The Kindle app.  I admit it, my Kindle is collecting dust.  Since I got my iPad, the Kindle hasn't come out but it's because the screen on the iPad is so much bigger.  It's easier on my eyes and I've been reading a ton more lately because it's there.  I get bored, open the app and keep reading.
5. Update my blog on the go.  I COULD do it from my phone but it's such a tiny screen!!
6.  Keep important files at my fingertips with DropBox.  Life is so much easier with that one tiny cloud storage app!

So yeah, as lame as it is, my iPad is pretty much my favorite thing right now.  Apart from all of the above I also use it to:

1. Log my food into the My Fitness Pal and Weight Watchers apps.
2.  Keep up with my Gorilla Workouts.
3. Use the WW Kitchen App to find new stuff to cook.
4.  Read other blogs.
5. Keep my Zumba music and playlists for class handy.

Basically, Gizmo is my personal assistant. Health, fitness, finances, entertainment, education, it keeps everything at my fingertips.

I'm such a consumer but... whatever.  I love my iPad!

5k + Master Class + Jam Session = Dead

So, my morning started out with the Robin Run 5k.  I blew my personal record out of the WATER!  I cross the finish line in 49:33.  Over three full minutes quicker than my best record.

It was OWIE, but AWESOME!!!

Then I showered, got pretty, and went to lunch at Cracker Barrel. I ate all the things.

Then I went to the new studio and got ready for a Master Class and Jam Session with the AMAZING Erica Dixon.

75 minutes of Zumba. Then a THREE HOUR Jam Session.

I said EFF IT and shared and cheese fry and milkshake after dinner tonight.  I think it was worth it though.

Not a bad day over all.

More details when my brain is not FRIED.

Facebook and sharing...

Should people post about their, or their loved ones health on Facebook/Social Media...

That's a tricky thing and something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  It's weird the way people can view, and misconstrue pieces of, our lives through the lens of social media.

I think that what we choose to put out there, whether on our blog, Twitter, or Facebook page is ultimately a personal decision.  I talk about my health, my workouts, my daily nutrition all the time.  It's kind of expected of me at this point, my students, my friends and my weight loss compatriots all share and we discuss and it's a large part of the community I find myself a part of.

I don't, however, talk about other people in that respect unless I have express permission.

I guess that comes as part of working in health care so long.  HIIPA! HIIPA! RAH, RAH, RAH! I feel awkward talking about other peoples health issues unless they tell me they want me to.

Heck, I have a hard time sharing it even after I've been given permission.

I think that it's all so personal that unless it's about yourself, or someone has said go for it, you should keep your fingers away from the keyboard.

Living a memory.

I wish I could be more upbeat with my memory but I'm feeling a little introspective and melancholy tonight.  I'm worried about tomorrow and thinking about all the ways I have tried and "failed" over the years.

When I was a senior in college I took a water aerobics class for the easy A and for the PE credit.  I was excited about the class.  It was a good way to get my workout in and I didn't have to look at myself in the mirror like in aerobics, yoga or other dance classes.

Then I got mono at the start of the semester, and it wasn't a little case of mono... I really thought I was going to die.

The inflammation in my spleen made the doctors act overly cautious and I could only do a third of what the water aerobics class called for.  So I got my only C in college because my stupid immune system picked that moment to catch mono.

I felt like such a failure and, at the same time, I couldn't have cared less.  My pretty awesome academic record was tarnished by that one stupid C and yet... I'm proud that I got through it.

I still feel like a failed.  I should have found a way around the participation to get the B I needed to have all A's and B's on my transcript.  I should have done more to plead my case.

It' a weird thing to think about how I felt seeing that grade.  Proud that I was done with college, depressed to see the C and angry that I let my body win.

It's weird the pressures we put on ourselves.

Tomorrow I run my 5th 5k and do a master class and Jam session with my Zumba family.

If I never post again, I loved you all and you can fight over my stuff.

Kthx!

Dear Body,

Dear Body, 

It's been a long crazy road but I really feel like we've reached an tough place in our relationship. I've been giving you everything I have as of late and you're not playing fair. I feel it's time to vent.

I try to control my carb intake and your mental addiction to potatoes, pasta and bread makes me angry, grumpy and sad. Our friends don't much like us when we really try to keep our carb intake to a minimum.  This is not fair to me as I'd really like to try to keep my insulin resistance in check and see if the low carb thing will work for me in terms of weight loss.  I hate when I eat one carb too many and wind up drowsy and nearly sedated. It's weird. We need to keep working on this.

I am also not okay with this whole being starving all the time no matter how much I eat or drink. I'm giving you all the fuel I can and you just want more.  I am giving you a well rounded diet and you're still hungry for crunchy, carbohydrate laden things like pretzels, toasted bagels, crackers and nuts. Those things are awesome, but I'm trying to change my diet again. This is counterproductive.

I'm also displeased with how all of a sudden my hormones have changed and I feel like I'm going brought puberty all over again. Acne at 30? Really? 

Then there's the weird things you're doing like the bleeding from my belly button every Time I should be having a menstrual cycle, the weird injuries, cuts and bruises that take forever to heal and the lack of making sense so the doctors can fix me.

I'm not saying we should go our separate ways, it's not really practical, but you need to get in line. I've fought 6 long hard years to get you to where you are. We've lost 200 pounds together. We've changed our life and helped others change theirs. Let's get on the same page. Please?

Thanks. 

Love, 

me.

Taking care of me...

Today's NHBPM prompt was about redesigning a doctors office. All I'd really do is make it colorful and fun. It's an office, as long as it's functional I don't much care how it looks.

So, I'm taking on a bonus prompt as it's important to where I am today.

How you take time for yourself.

So, this is something I'm not great about doing. I will run myself in to the ground if people don't tell me to slow down. I've been running myself ragged the last few weeks. Work stress, Zumba, extra workouts, training for my 5k this weekend, it's been a lot of stuff going on.

To top it off, I got an ear infection and upper respiratory infection this past weekend.  I woke up Saturday morning with a fever and immediately went to immediate care when they opened.  They gave me antibiotics and told me to rest.  Not so much. I'm not good at that.  I felt better by Monday, but still drained.  Then I wound up working until 2:30 this morning and didn't get home till almost 4am and was worn out enough that everything feels worse today.  

I still taught my Zumba class tonight because that's part of how I take care of myself.  My workouts are very important to me.  I get both physical and emotional therapy from getting sweaty and losing myself to my music or the cadence of my run.  If I don't get my workout, I feel awful. It's just not negotiable anymore. I need my workout.

The other ways I take care of myself include trying to find time that is truly me time.  As much as I'm a social person, I am still kind of an introvert. I do need time alone to recharge my batteries so I can be chipper, happy me when I deal with people. 

Of course, also important, is a good diet, taking my medications regularly, and my multivitamin regimen, and Shakeology. 

Shakeology has saved my tail so many times.  So good for my stomach, my skin, my hair, my nails and it helps to curb all the bad eating habits. It's one of the linchpins of my healthy lifestyle, 

I've been bad and only doing shakes a few times a week at most for a while and this infection and the general sense of ice lately has renewed my vigor around my Shakeology. Can't wait to get back in to my normal schedule with it.  Tomorrow, Vegan Strawberry with berries and ice and blueberry acai fruit juice, mmmm

Most important in taking car of myself is sleep! Sleep is so important and I will skimp when things are crazy and I cants d that anymore. Sleep is non negotiable! 

Taking the High Road...

There are so many times that I've had to take the high road with regards to weight loss, my thyroid and general issues that aren't anyone's freaking business anyway.

One specific event that springs to mind - a conversation with a random person at my previous place of employment.

It was a Friday, people were coming in to get checks, this lady comes in with an employee and engages me in conversation.

First words out of her mouth "My sister had gastric bypass surgery and it changed her life."

I stared at her, said something about how wonderful that was for her and went back to doing my job. For the next half hour or so this lady outlined for me all the reasons I should have gastric bypass surgery done immediately.

She told me I couldn't possibly be happy being so obese. She told me I'd find a man if I lost the weight. She told me I didn't have to be fat and miserable.

I smiled, thanked her for the information, and tried to end the conversation tactfully. It wasn't easy.

At that point I'd lost 80 pounds. I was, and still am, happily in a relationship. I was and am plenty happy. The only thing that made me sad or upset was dealing with the bitch who was telling me about my life who only met me 10 minutes ago.

I couldn't be rude or mean, I was at work, but I wanted to lash out at her so badly. I didn't though. Talk about self restraint!!!

List of 3?

Write a #ListOf3 Things that you’re thankful for / excited about / or inspired by.  That was one of the options for today's NHBPM prompts.  I like this as it goes along with my month of Thanksgiving I'm doing over on Facebook.  So, here's 3 lists of 3.. because I'm indecisive.

Thankful For:
1. My friends and family - real and adopted - who make me feel loved and special every day.
2. A job that I love and, though stressful, I am excited to go in to every day.
3. Blankets.  I swear, I was never this cold before but now nothing is better than a big fluffy blanket curled up next to Marshall or Matt watching football or a good movie. Blankets are the best!

Excited About:
1.  Raising money this week for Hurricane/Super Storm Sandy recovery.  I'm so glad Sue and I are working together on this project!!
2. The Robin Run AND the Carribean Heat Master Class coming up next weekend.  Holy crapballs, it's going to be amazing!
3.  The big data jam session tomorrow at work.  Going to Raleigh, getting this piece of the project finished and moving on to the next big task.  So cool!

Inspired By:
1.  My students.  Watching them grow and change every single class makes me want to work harder to help them reach their goals. It also makes me fight to get better to reach my own goals! Hooray for cyclical inspiration!
2.  My fellow NHBPM participants.  I'm loving reading what folks are writing and I'm learning so much that is helping me fight my own battles over here.
3.  Daylight savings time.  I'm inspired to get up and get stuff done.  I love falling back!! :)

What's in my purse...

So I think by now people realize I share just about everything except for bodily functions (most of the time) and details about my job so I went with the fun post today...


I carry a huge purse. HUGE.  And I didn't for a long time but about 6 years ago when I got serious about my health my purse grew in size.

Right now my purse has 3 big pockets and my myriad of stuff is divided thusly.

Center pocket - wallet, keys, mini flashlight, tons of hair bands and my two small alligator clips, and my business card case my iPhone and, when going to work or Zumba, my iPad. Oh and normally there's a few of those Coke bottle caps in here.  Because I totally do the Coke points thing.

Side pocket 1 - The lading place for all my assorted papers.  I have my mini coupon holder in here with not just coupons but also extra business cards, free passes for some of my teaching locations, and extra schedules when I have them. I also place any and all receipts that don't get put in my wallet in this pocket so I can add them to my tax receipts later.

Side pocket 2 - My medicine pocket.  My pills for the day are in one of those pill sorters in this pocket.  I also carry a bottle of xanax for panicked days, a small bottle of aleve, a small bottle of zinc tablets, several packets of Emergen-C, chapstick, aquaphor, anitbiotic ointment and bandaids.  (If you read my post about weird things about my health this makes a lot of sense!) This is also where random granola bars and stuff wind up.

It's a LOT of stuff for someone who used to carry a flip fold wallet.  BUT I'm glad I have all this stuff with me.  I just ordered a new purse and when I get it I will be more organized with my stuff. I try to keep it organized now but ... eh..

While you're out and about on the internet and reading my National Health Blog Posting Month post... go check out some of my friends who are participating as well.  You won't be disappointed!!

Redefining Kim
FoodFoodBodyBody
Thyroid Hope
Yummy Sushi Pajamas

I am a New Yorker.  I may grown up in Baltimore and Virginia but I am a full blooded New Yorker at my core.   And to see the devastation caused by The SuperVolcanoStormOfTheCentury Sandy breaks my heart.

So what is a relocated Yankee in the South to do?  The only thing she can do - raise some funds to help the Big Apple get their shine back.

Starting tomorrow and running through Friday, Sue and I will be raising money for the The Mayor’s Fund to Advance New York City.  Tomorrow we have 3 Zumba classes at our location downtown and instead of our usual class fee, we will be accepting donations for the Mayors Fund.

I will also be donating the proceeds from my classes on Monday night and Wednesday night to the cause. PLUS any other donations my awesome Zumba students wish to donate.  

Also, also we will be accepting donations via the Paypal link below and, on Friday, we will tally it all up and send the donation off.

We are proud to be doing what we can in our little corner of North Carolina to help.  If you want to help us, help others, please consider donating via the link below.

Paging Doctor Duh

I want to preface this with the fact that I have nothing but respect for those who choose to go in to medicine. I give doctors a lot of crap, but I respect the hard work it takes to get to where they have.

Still, there are some amazing dumbasses in the medical field.

On that topic, let me share with you the moment I wanted to slap a "I'm a dumbass" sign on my endocrinologist.

Last October, I was really stressing over the lull in weight loss. During my yearly check-in with my endo the following exchange happened:

Her: How much are you working out?

Me: I take or teach 8-10 Zumba classes a week plus at least one yoga class and one TurboKick class a week.

Her: And how many calories are you eating a day?

Me: Between 2000-2200.

Her: That's too much!

Me: But if I eat less I feel lightheaded when I workout.

Her: Then you need to workout less so you can eat less.

Me: (Appropriate length of stunned silence) Can I see the nutritionist?

Yeah. The logic there doesn't really track for me. She did tell me that for weight loss I needed to eat less than 1500 calories a day.

On a rest day, according to my BodyBugg, I burn 2400 calories a day, on average. A 1000 calorie deficit on a rest day would be great but on a 3 hour Zumba night when my total calorie burn is between 4300-4500 it's just not a good idea.

And I had tried that before. In hour 2 of class when I started having double vision I decided it wasn't going to work.

She couldn't get that through her head and has asked me if I've managed to get my calorie intake down.

The nutritionist she referred me to? Said 2000 calories was the perfect goal and helped me tweak my macro nutrient breakdown. And she is very happy with the 60 pounds I've lost in the last year.

Take that, Doctor Duh!

I'm just weird...

The weirdest thing about my health... well everything.

Let's start with my propensity for winning the weirdest injury competition.  I swear, I get injured doing even the slightest of things.  I really blame my doctors for not diagnosing and treating my thyroid disorder earlier in life.  I was deficient in calcium, postassium, B vitamins, you name it when my TSH was at it's worst and I am sure that my ability to break bones getting in to a car are directly related to that.

High on my list of weird injuries:
1. Broke my nose in my sleep.  Hit my face on the rod iron day bed post.  Genius.
2. Torn cartilage in the AC joint of my right shoulder lifting a small light bed side table my sophomore year of college.
3. Broke my ankle getting in to my car.
4. Pinched my sciatic nerve picking up my shoes.
5. Tore tendons in my left foot slipping while changing shoes in a parking lot.

I also think it's weird that I didn't have any major allergies until about 4 years ago.  I've had an allergy to mint, bee stings and a sensitivity to latex since I was young but in the last few years I've added shellfish, melon, strawberry, Penicillin and medrol to my list of allergies.  Craziness.

Plus there's the whole Hashimoto's thing.  Hooray for autoimmune disorders.

Why I blog about my health...

As anyone who knows me for any length of time can tell you, I am not shy about sharing my story.

I blog about my health because I am a strong believer in being an informed consumer of health care and I want people to know that finding your voice can impact your quality of life.

When I was 16 and took myself off my thyroid medication because I felt so horrible and worn out that brushing my hair was a cardio workout but I didn't have a voice.  I didn't have a choice in what doctors I saw, I didn't have options and I wasn't in charge of my own health care decisions.

That all changed when I was 22.  Fresh out of college and on my own for the first time, I landed my first job and got health insurance that I was in charge of.  I found a good general practitioner and began researching what I needed to do to finally get my thyroid in order.

My first appointment and lab draws happened and I got a frantic call from the doctor.  A second set of labs were drawn and only confirmed what the first set of labs saw - my TSH was 35.  Not three point five but THIRTY FIVE.  That's 7 times the highest level of the widest acceptable lab range.  When I realized just how bad that was I really dug in to the research and found options.

My GP worked with me for about a year, my labs got close to normal and I started to have problems with my hair falling out again and I was exhausted, I asked about cytomel or armour thyroid.  He didn't want to do it.  I asked for a referral to an endocrinologist.

She was not keen on letting my try cytomel or Armour but relented when faced with my history and a lot of pleading.  Added cytomel and BAM 60 pounds fell off my body.

Since then I've been a huge proponent of pushing your doctors and doing research on any health issue I don't know about.  I want to understand my body and what it does and how it works.  I'm the expert on me, not some jerk in a white jacket.

If I had known then what I know now, I know I wouldn't have spent my high school and college years morbidly obese.  I know I would have asked questions and would have made the doctors listen to me about my symptoms.

I also would have said SCREW YOU to the doctor I accused me of being a closet eater and lying to him about everything and looking for an easy way out of being fat.

So that's why I blog about my health.  I don't want anyone to have to deal with what I did as a kid or as an adult, either.

Find your voice.  Ask questions.  Research.  Find a community.  Be your own advocate. Keep your chin up, AND NEVER GIVE UP.