Saturday, November 19, 2011

The inevitable crash.

I crashed hard today.  Hard.  There is so much going on, so many balls in the air, and today they finally came crashing down.

The crash was a result of low blood sugar, bad news, and just sheer exhaustion. 

The morning started out AMAZING.  We had a super energetic, exciting and fun Zumba class at 9:30 this morning.  It was, by far, the best Saturday morning class in a long time.  It felt more like a Friday night at the club than Saturday morning at the studio.

Directly after class Sarah and I drove off to Greenville for lunch (SUSHI!!!) followed by a master class and ZIN jam session.  That's 4 hours of Zumba and made for 5 hours total for the day.  And they were amazing hours, all 5 of them!  A tun of fun was bad by everyone and I felt tired but on top of the world. 

In the car on the way home I started to feel gross.  Marshall texted me and gave me some upsetting news about a death of a friend and annoyed me by being kind of thoughtless.  I was grumpy and starting to really feel the weight of the day.  Sitting still in the car for another hour I started to cramp up a bit more and was not so happy.

When I got back in to town all I wanted was something for dinner that involved chicken and vegetables.  My house guests had other plans and I was annoyed by that too.  I should have been grateful that someone cooked me dinner but I was more going BLAH red meat.

Then I was about to say Eff everything and was going to grab a quesadilla on the way home - whole grain tortilla, chicken, extra vegetables, lots of cheese.  I stopped by Moe's and the line was out the door and I got even more grumpy. 

Little things just kept making me feel like everything was ruined and nothing would ever be okay again.  I finally just came home, resigned to eating food I didn't want but it was there.

I got in the shower to get rid of the gunk from 5 hours of cardio and in the shower I just broke down.  It was the hottest shower I've ever taken and I showered until the water just ran cold.  Wrapped in my robe I curled up on the bed and just the tears come. 

I know I wasn't crying because of anything that happened today but it was the culmination of two weeks running on all cylinders without a break.

I'm hoping that the instructor I asked to cover my class tomorrow is available.  She said she thought she was but would let me know for sure.  I would really love to have most of the afternoon off to just relax.  We just have to record Katie's dance project tomorrow and I need to make a pot of turkey stew.  If that's all that's asked me of tomorrow that'll be the best.

If I have to teach it's no big deal but I'd really like to veg.

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