Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A confession...

I'm depressed.  It's not all "woah is me" and the "world is ending" depression but I am dealing with a bad round of depression.

Nothing in my life is particularly bad right now.  I just had an amazing weekend with my Trio Fitness family.  Work is mostly good minus some stress about one working relationship. I'm seeing progress in my strength and muscle tone even if my weight isn't moving.  I'm healthy, for the most part.  I have big plans for travel in the next few months.  There's so much good stuff happening.

Life is really quite good.

But I am in a funk I can't snap out of.  I wake up in the morning and I have to spend 15-20 minutes convincing myself to get out of bed.  I grump my way to the car to go to work.  I get work done but I feel empty, and alienated by my coworkers even though I know I'm not.  I even have to psych myself up every day before Zumba class.  I know that once I get there I'm going to feel awesome but the thought going to class even makes me a little bummed.

I just feel ...Dull. Lifeless. Listless.

I called the doc to ask about upping my dosage of Zoloft and he said not until I come in for my next visit and he will likely wind up changing me to a different medicine all together as I'm already on the highest dose. I was hoping to hold off till I go back in March but I think I need to go see him sooner but I feel like I don't want to make a big deal out of having the blues.

I'm taking my B vitamins like a good girl and my D to help with the lack o sunshine this time of year to stave off the seasonal affective disorder.  I'm eating well (most of the time) and still eating comfort foods when I want them.

It just sucks to feel so blah... It's 9 at night and I'm in bed and really sad that I'm not already asleep.  I just want to feel normal again.  

7 comments:

  1. Hate to see this but understand. An early appointment wouldn't hurt. Don't want the little "blahs" to turn into a big "humbug" ;) Your smile is too priceless to be without :) xoxo

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  2. Hang in there, Sam! Glad to see you're getting your vitamins. Have you tried Niacin? it was recommended for my husband and seems to have worked. He takes 500mg twice a day but we were told it wad safe to go as high as 3000 mg in divided doses. I'm no doc, but just thought I'd pass that along! Oh and I think he takes it with Vitamin C? You can look up nutritional therapy for depression at doctoryourself.com. Take care! :-)

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  3. This made me sad to read this....they say the first step is to admit it, so you've done that...all I can tell you is how much I love you and how you make me want to be a better person, in and out of the "Zumba" world. You are so bubbly and smart and fun and are just a pure joy to be around. My heart would be shattered if you did not teach Zumba, FYI! And if it makes you feel any better, I have these days quite often, too...the blahs....some days are good and some not so good, and yeah, I know, we have SO much to be thankful for, but it's still hard when we don't feel our "best." Just know i'm thinking about you and love you dearly and hope you get out of this funk soon. XOXO

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  4. Hugs. Depression sucks. I've been feeling down lately too, but I'm hoping for me it's a hormonal thing.

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  5. First things first, I am sending you a big virtual hug. It's tough to be feeling down and kinda blue - without full blown depression. Sometimes I think that's easier to deal with - or at least people are more understanding than when you are just a little "off". But no matter the degree, if you are not feeling like you happy, bright, vibrant self, then you deserve to go in and adjust your meds. Please know that I love ya and am sending happy thoughts your way.

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  6. I know this feeling VERY well.

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