When it rains...

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster ride with more lows than highs.  I am trying to figure out what to say without making some problems sound more grandiose then they are and still not sound like an ungrateful bitch.  There's a fine line there based on the troubles of the last few weeks.

First, my car drama.  I swear, I have the WORST luck when it comes to cars.  It's unreal how quickly I can go from a perfectly fine car to a dead car.  Case in point -  last Monday I was on my way to Raleigh to court for the ticket from the accident in April and my car was perfectly fine one second and dead on the side of the road the next. 

No warning lights, no smoke, no noises, NOTHING.  Just DEAD.  Got it towed, dealt with the ticket, come back and find out my motor is toast.  It has ceased to be. The quote for a new motor? $4,900.  So 70$ for the inspection and 250$ for towing later I get my car to a shop I trust I find out my oil pump died and took my motor with it.  I got my car back today at a steal of only $2,800 for the repairs. 

A week without my car sucked and I had to strand Marshall here at the house with no transportation and he was very helpful but not happy about the whole thing. 

Then to add to the not happy Marshall boat - I got in to a minor fender bender with his van as well.  That's right.  I was driving his van while mine was getting fixed and I straight up backed in to another car in a parking lot on Friday. 

What the CRAP. She wasn't there and then she was.  I swear she had turned in to a parking space.  I don't know if she backed up or what but I tapped the back of her rear wheel well.  Barely a scratch, I think more dirt than damage given how long it'd been since Marsh washed the van, but she was totally vile to me and made me file it with insurance. 

So cars have been the bane of my existence in the last two weeks.  I don't want to drive anywhere or be in a car with anyone.  I'm getting overly anxious at the thought of long car trips.  Not cool.  I used to LOVE driving but now it's something I truly dread. 

Then there's the real reason I'm sad and depressed right now.  My grandmother passed away yesterday at the ripe of old age of 94. 

My grandmother was one of my earliest idols in life.  She was kind, generous, an amazing cook and the type of person who could light up a room just by smiling.  When she moved to Washington state when I was a freshman in high school I was inconsolable.  I hated being that far away from her and in the last few years it's been hard for me to talk to her because I hated watching her slip away.  I loved her so much and she will always be, in my mind, the poker and bingo shark who couldn't believe that Marshall wasn't Jewish. 

I'm having a really hard time dealing with because I know I can't drop everything and fly across the country to say goodbye properly right now.  I'm hurting because I can't help my mother go out there and say goodbye to her as well.  I hate being so disconnected from my family and I hate that I don't have a way to fix that right now. 

I feel like a total negative nellie right now but I have another post coming about some really awesome things that have happened over the last two weeks that I just don't have the energy to write about right now.

Just know that I'm out here, I'm kicking and I'm doing my best to tackle each day as if it's a brand new and exciting challenge for me to conquer.