Ch-ch-changes...

"I want to change THIS about healthcare..."

The focus on weight with regards to health. As a thyroid patient and a woman with PCOS I will ALWAYS have a problem with my weight.

I gain weight easily, it's hard for me to shed pounds and my weight fluctuates heavily from day to day. It's just so easy for my body to freak out and hold on to water weight, to hit a plateau, or to go against all reason and gain or lose weight when my calorie in versus calorie out equation says I should be doing the other.

You know what? My labs are freaking awesome. My blood pressure is normal, a little high when taken with an automatic cuff but even that's only slightly. My cholesterol is good. My HDL is a little low but I've made enough changes to my nutrition and started taking flaxseed and it's gone from 23 to 39 in a year. Thats genetics not bad nutrition or laziness. My glucose and A1C are perfect.  Perfect, not good, perfect.

And my cardiovascular system? Fit as a fiddle.

Quarterly I go visit a nurse for what they call Peak Health. They check my body fat, weight, blood pressure and talk to me about stress, nutrition and my overall wellness. Then they put you on a stationary bike and measure your pulse and blood pressure during moderate activity. As you reach certain benchmarks, you get higher discounts on your insurance. 

All of my labs are at level 5 levels. My readings on the bike are great, excellent fitness. But because of my weight I'm only a level 2. 

I don't expect to be a level 5 while still obese, but I would think everything I've done and the fact that all my other other health markers put me at a level 5 I should be rewarded in kind.

I get this from others places too. New doctors who think because of my weight I'm lazy and unhealthy.  

I know this is the case for other people too. Different health issues lead to varying pictures of health.

Will I ever be a size 2-4-6-8? Not likely. Aside from my health issues, I'm just good Irish breeding stock. I'm blessed with wide ribcage, shoulders and hips. I will, however keep fighting till my insides are as healthy as they can be. 

That should be the goal, not some weight related, one size fits all BMI bull hockey. Health. Inside and outside. 

Pictures. Nutritionist. Celebration.

3. Far Away

4. In your mailbox

5. Bright

Today I saw my nutritionist and I've lost 23 pounds since I last saw her.  I'm still 4 pounds shy of being able to say 200 pounds.  SOOOOOOON!

I'm just gleeful that I'm really seeing results - even if they're slow.

I'm so glad I gave my scale away.  I need to hop on it maybe once a month to check my body fat % and muscle mass but otherwise I think I'm only going to weigh in at the doctors. 

So many good things going on this week.  I can't wait to have time to write about it more in depth. 

I'm working on editing a post for submission to the amazing Girl Body Pride blog.  It's been taking a lot of my thought time lately.  Trying to get my message in to 500 words or less.  Woof!

Packing my Lunch Challenge

In the lead up to convention, the insanity of returning, and everything going sideways since I got home I've been a total slacker about packing my own lunch.

With that, I've been spending too much money and eating far more calories than intended so starting with lunch today I am resolving to eat lunch, from my lunch box, every workday for the next two weeks.

Today lunch featured a salad which included

• 1 cup of baby spinach
• 2 baby bell peppers (one red and one orange)
• 1/4 of a medium tomato
• 1/4 cup rice noodles
• 1/8 cup 2% Mexican cheddar cheese
• 2 oz of chopped turkey deli meat

And on the side? 1/2 cup of dark chocolate Chex Mix.

It was DELICIOUS.  So fresh and tasty and I didn't even mind that I totally spaced on bringing some sort of dressing for the salad.

In fact, aside from the chocolate cupcake I had in honor of 4 co-workers having birthdays in the last week and a half, everything I ate today was brought from home.  

Tomorrow I think I'm going to do a FlatOut Wrap with cream cheese, spinach and turkey.  Maybe not.  We shall see what my tummy is feeling in the morning. 

Also coming tomorrow - me finally publishing my over emotional post about convention and the low points thereof. 

So this is a thing now...

I own a bathing suit.  An actual bathing suit.  I haven't owned one since college.

I have legs and a back and everything! Look at that! I know the socks don't work but my toes were cold so I didn't take them off.

Here's the thing - even in college at an all women's college I didn't want to be seen in my bathing suit.  I didn't want my classmates to judge me.  I would go swimming with my roommate and best college friend but that was about it.  I took a water aerobics class and was over joyed when I was informed that I had mono and couldn't play water polo as it gave me an out from class half of the time.

I hated that much of my blobby body being seen by anyone.  I felt like Shamu and had been called all sorts of horrible names by people every time I wore a bathing suit so I stopped for the longest time.

Well, I now have a reason to be back in a bathing suit.  Several reasons, actually.

Firstly, I just want to go to the pool and play with my friends.  I want to sit next to the pool and feel the sun on my skin and then jump in to the cool water and relax.  I've never wanted that before now but... it's a thing now.  I want to relax in the sun!

Secondly, the Zumba Convention.  I want to be able to put on a bathing suit and lounge in the pool in between and or after a long day of Zumba-ing.  I want to be able to take an Aqua Zumba class or just hang out with the other instructors and bond poolside.  It's in freaking Orlando - I better be in a bathing suit at some point.  I think it's required by law.

Thirdly, because I wanted to face that fear.  I want to be seen, damnit.  You see how white I am?  That's because my skin never sees the light of day.  Okay, so, I burn at the thought of sun, but I'd like to think that MAYBE not wearing long pants and tshirts through the summer might get me past the nearly translucent skin stage.

It's happened.  It's a thing now.  I own a bathing suit.  I may buy a second one.  A girl likes to have options, you know?

Recipe Time - Pizza Soup

Want a delicious pizza for dinner?  Don't want to order or make one yourself?  Want to eat pizza without killing your diet?  Try Pizza Soup!

This started out as something we made one day because we were lazy and were just using what was in the pantry, but it turned in to something I love to make.  It's quick, easy, tasty and can be made with whatever random ingredients you have on hand.

Tonight's pizza soup - Pepperoni Pizza Soup:

Ignore the mess on the table, please. :)

 In the soup:

1 large onion - chopped.
1 large green pepper - chopped
1 large red pepper - chopped
1/2 bag of baby spinach - chopped
1/2 bag of pepperoni slices - chopped
1 can of Campbell's Tomato Soup - Family Size
1 can of water
Black pepper - to taste
Oregano - to taste
Garlic salt - to taste

In a large pot, I first cooked the onion and peppers for about 3 minutes on medium heat until the onions started to look a little translucent.  Then I added the soup and the water.  Then I added the rest of the ingredients and brought it to a boil and let it simmer for about 30 minutes. 

Makes about 6 servings (1.5-2 cup servings)

Serve with warm bread (tonight it was honey brown bread) and topped with your favorite Italian cheese. 

Stats per serving -

Calories - 215
Carbs - 27
Fat - 9
Protein - 8
Fiber - 3

6 weight watchers points!

Absolutely delicious and a hit with the guys too! 

Sick of being sick...

Frustrated beyond belief, I sit here trying to figure out what the deal is with my body and not wanting to be healthy and non-injured. 

Rewind to last Thursday.  Towards the end of 3 hours of Zumba I started to feel truly exhausted and I said YES! I've kicked my own tail! ... Not so much.  After eating a bowl of soup, I got home and immediately begin vomiting.  So began over a week of feeling awful.

I slept ALL DAY Friday.  I woke up long enough to go to the office (Marshall drove) and grab my laptop and some work stuff so I could get work done over the weekend.  I slept from 9am to 1pm, showered, watched GLEE and then passed out again until just after 5pm.

The vomiting ceased pretty quickly but the exhaustion, chills, fever and overall feeling of GROSS continued on and seemed to leave my stomach and something vile settled in my sinuses and throat.  Breathing was painful because my throat was so raw.  However, being me, I knew I couldn't sit still and I was back at Zumba Saturday morning.  I read books and stayed still as much as possible. 

Sunday my ears began to feel awful, my right ear became useless and I started getting dizzy when I sneezed, coughed or changed position abruptly.  Crap!

Yet... me being me... I waited until THURSDAY to go see the doctor.  Diagnoses? Sinus infection. Laryngitis. Pharyngitis. Double ear infections. Inner ear infection causing intermittent vertigo.  Handed me high dose omnicef and sent me on my way.

It's now Saturday and I still don't feel great and my voice comes in and out.

So it was a tough week for me, but ended on some very big high notes. 

Truth be told, aside from this sinus/ear/throat crap, I know I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life.  Tomorrow I will take my 2nd set of quarterly measurements, pictures and my weigh in.  I'm STOKED to see what the numbers have to say because my clothes all fit differently and I can see little things like the way my thighs move when I teach certain Zumba songs has changed.  I can see how much stronger my back already looks to me.  I can't wait to see the overall numbers though.

Back to reading and resting for me.

Weight and Measurements. Woot!

Well.. late for 2Q but here it is.

Measurement	08/21/11	11/21/11	02/21/12	2Q Change
Weight	340	329	310	19
Wrist	6.75	6.33	6.25	0.08
Upper Arm	16.75	16	15	1
Chest	50	48.75	48	0.75
Ribcage	43	42	41.5	0.5
Waist	48.5	45	44	1
Hips	68	64	61.5	2.5
Upper Thigh	34	33	31	2
Calf	17.5	17.75	15.5	2.25
Ankle	10	9.75	9.25	0.5

That's 22.5 inches and 30 pounds since August.  In a little over 3 month that's 19 pounds and 10.58 inches.  

I'm feeling strong.  Things are really going my way!

This week is the mid point weigh in for my first 30 day challenge.  I'm excited to see if my participants are seeing the same results I did! I know they're working it hard!!!

I'm planning on starting another group on April 1st if anyone out there is interested! Inbox me!

The countdown to vacation... and Weight Watchers.

I am now in the downward slope towards vacation.  4 more working days till vacation.  Glorious, glorious, vacation. 

Work has been great the last few days.  The meeting in Winston went awesomely and I am so glad we went. 

My voice is still coming and going whenever it pleases but the strep is going away.  My throat still yells at me when I drink carbonated drinks or eat anything with a rough texture but I'm getting there.  I will be healthy by the time we leave on vacation!

Yesterday I took the leap and rejoined Weight Watchers.  I know how terribly hard it is to track my calories and macronutrient breakdowns when I'm out of town and this was a good stop gap measure to assist in that.

I first did Weight Watchers back in 2008 and I lost 30 pounds using their tools.  Then money got tight and I couldn't afford the membership.  I am loving some of the newer tools they've added in the time I've been gone and I'm excited about putting them to full use.  Things like the pizza slice designer that gives you the point total or the sandwich maker that populates the totals.  That's really cool!

Today I taught back to back Zumba classes and at each location someone commented on the fact I look smaller even in just the last few weeks. Talk about an ego boost! I'm actually even starting to really feel smaller, especially in my chest and arms.  I'm excited for my weekly weigh in on Monday. Maybe the plateau has finally been broken and I'll continue to see a good downward trend!

471 vs. 329

Take at look at these two pictures of me:

May 2006

October 2011

See a difference?  

I don't.  I mean... I do when I look at them for a really long time, but I still feel as fat now as I felt in the first picture.  

Objectively, when I stare at these pictures for a while I notice I now have a neck, that my shoulders are smaller and my face so much thinner. I can see how much smaller my cheeks yave gotten and much more pronounced my chin and cheek bones are. 

Then I look in the mirror and I still see my face from May 2006.  

So who is the real me?  How do people see me now?  Do people really notice the difference?

Yes.  I know this because in the last week I've had three people comment on how much my shape has changed.  Matt and Chip both commented on how "tiny" I've gotten and how they can wrap their arms all the way around me when they hug me.

Will I ever start to feel smaller, thinner, tinier? Or will I always be 471 pounds in my eyes?