Oh! Hi! Long time no see!

Sorry for going dark for so long there.  Real life snuck up and bit me on the bum! THEN I went on an adventure and now I'm starting to get my life back on track so that I can get through the end of 2012 without too much drama.

So, when last we spoke - I was going on my soft food diet to try to heal up the swelling in my jaw from TMJ.  That went as well as can be expected.  I spent the 10 days I lasted feeling bloated and still not truly full.  My jaw did wind up feeling far better and now I'm far more aware of what I put in to my mouth and how it makes my head feel.  Such a weird thing to have to take in to consideration.  Will this make my jaw angry?  Some times the answer is YES! Yes, it will.  But it's tasty and I want it so Imma eat it anyway! Most of the time though I'll pass on the steak and go with something easier to chew now.

I miss steak. A lot!

I also promised to share the funny ENT story.  So -

While sitting in the ENT's office, in what is actually an OB chair since the office is set up in an old OB office and I'm leaned back and the doctor is staring in to my ears and Hming and ahhhhing as he takes stock and is jotting down notes.

Then he starts talking.  "Have you heard about this book, Wheatbelly?"

I told him I had not and he begins talking about how it's based on this study that due to changes in wheat over the generations that, even in people who don't have a wheat allergy, the human body can react in a weird way that causes more abdominal fat to be held on to during weight loss.

I nodded, he held my head still and kept looking.

Then I started thinking... he's talking about weight loss while looking in my ears... are my ears fat?  What is so interesting in my ears that he picked NOW to talk about this book which has changed his view on how he eats.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY EARS?!???!!

He then just started talking about weight loss in general.  How hard it can be but he knows that anyone can really reach their goals if they want to.  That because of Wheatbelly he plans on going wheat free after the new year once all the partying is done.

I get it, dude.  I'm fat.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FREAKING EARS??????

He then spends a few minutes poking the sides of my head and having me open and close my mouth and looking at my nose and throat.

I told him, that's awesome that he's making those changes.  I tried going wheat, grain, gluten, carb free in different combinations and it didn't work for me but I've lost 200 pounds and am doing just fine without this new miracle cure. That since my thyroid is in check, I'm good.

"Oh! You do have a thyroid condition."
"Yep, Hashimotos."
"Well that explains the lack of ear wax."  *crickets* "You see, your ears itch because you don't make enough healthy ear wax."  Oh! An answer! Awesome!
"Also, your ears are totally healthy... you just have TMD or TMJ.  Read this material and go on a soft food diet for two weeks.  Then talk to your dentist about your cross bite."

Oh... good... answers.

But are my ears fat?  Someone tell me my ears are pretty?  Please??!?!?!?

Up next - posts on vacation, vacation food, an awesome Zumba Master Class and The Hobbit!

2013 and beyond... and Ow! My jaw!

If I could accomplish anything in 2013 it would be ...

Man, talk about a loaded prompt. My goals and aspirations are many but if I had to pick one thing I want to accomplish in 2013 it would be getting under 200 pounds.

Yes, it's an arbitrary number but losing 70+ pounds in a year would be huge for me. I lose weight so slowly and to average 6 pounds a month would be an incredible success for me both mentally and physically. About 1.5 pounds a week. It's not a lot to ask. 

I'm trying so hard to get out of my own way, to stop psyching myself out and to own my own power and successes but I swear every time I get close to a goal - whether weight, work, financial or personal - I screw it up and set myself back. 

I would love to see 2013 be the year I stop fearing success and just enjoy the fruits of my labor. 

That said, lets talk about my doctor appoinment from yesterday.

I caught a sinus infection the Saturday after my birthday, then got worse the day after Veterans Day. Tuesday made one month of my ears hurting. I finally went to see the ENT.

The problem is not my ears this time. No redness, no fluid, nothing wrong.  My ears are dry - apparently I don't create enough ear wax and I have TMD/TMJ.

FREAKING LOCKJAW! 

Ok, so it's not a horrible thing and it makes sense now but the only thing I can do for the TMD to get better is go on a solid food diet for the next two weeks. 

Soft foods. Christ. I was just getting used to my current lower carb, no sweets diet. Now I have to stop eating things like steak and anything harder than a soft roll. 

Wahhhhh. 

Some of my Facebook friends gave me good suggestions about healthier soft food options and I'm going to have to do a lot of cooking this weekend. I still need help, though! 

What are some of your favorite soft food recipes? Hints and tips for not getting bored with the same consistency for the next 2 weeks? 

Tomorrow - a recap of the nutritional conversation with my ENT and why I now am self conscious about my ears...